16 Truths of Being a Canadian Teacher in England

You're moving across the pond and couldn't be more excited! Canada is being left behind, you're not going to have to suffer through the deep freeze of winter. The adventure is coming.

You land.

You see how narrow the roads are and you know this is going to be an interesting journey and so it begins. You're going to travel Europe, meet awesome British people, gain a lot of experience and save some money. Not to mention, the Tinder and Bumble game is bumping and you're surrounded by killer accents. Hold up. Here's some cold hard truths for you.

#1 You have a new language to learn.

Uhm, yep. They may speak English but suddenly you're whipping out Google to find out what the meaning of "knackered" is. Oh that's not it! Next you're looking up: wanker, skint, tosser, the lou, fit (yeah it means you're hot, not that you're in shape - smh), snogging, shagging, blimey, bollocks, crack on, dodgy, fortnights, gutted, knock off, nick, piss poor, rubbish, shite, sorted, sods law, taking the Mickey, taking the piss...

Cheers is not a rude way of saying thanks, turns out it's a very polite way of saying thanks.

Oh and my personal favourite; "you alright?" ... like should I not be?!

And the worst part is, within three months time you'll find that these are the only ones that you have started saying on a regular basis. But be careful saying "tosser"; not only is it impolite, but the Brit's will make fun of your accent for saying it.

#2 Everyone WILL ask you if you're American.

NO I AM NOT AMERICAN. And no, I do not like Trump. Sod off please and get it right, you wanker!

#3 You no longer have a name. You are now "Miss" or "Sir"

I have a name, student, and it is not Miss. If I can remember over 100 names, you can remember ONE.

SMH.

#4 You no longer teach three of four periods a day. You sold your soul and your day.

You might even tach 5/5 ... more than one day a week ... oh yeah, and you have an advisory group first thing in the morning. I certainly hope you don't like planning periods.

#5 Your alcohol consumption goes up significantly.

I'm sorry, but even if you're not a drinker, you will be in about two weeks. For starters, the English like their beer. Secondly, coffee shops close at 5pm so if you plan on going out, you're going for a drink. Third, You need a pint, or ten, to congratulate yourself on surviving another week.

#6 If you decide to not drink one weekend, everyone WILL ask you what is wrong with you.

How many texts do you think I've received tonight for being MIA? Nope, keep guessing.

#7 It is grey all of the time.

Brace yourself to not see the sun for a month at a time. Yeah, I thought they were exaggerating too.

#8 You spend all of your money travelling to chase the sun

It's half term break already? Wow that was a fast six weeks! Where shall we go now? RIP bank account.

#9 Your bank account is well acquainted with the colour red.

You winge every time you check your bank balance. Move to England they said. You'll save money they said. Liars. Underpaid and overworked but left poor. Sorry Canadians, but you're taking an astronomical pay cut and still paying the same cost to live. Not to mention, the precious little bit you might think about saving you just spent on your next trip. Don't get me wrong, it's worth it. Just don't get a false idea here.

#10 But you do have a killer phone plan.

For less than 20 pounds a month you have all the data you could want and more, and free everything across the EU. Forget taking up your phone space to save Spotify music, you can use the data!

#11 Everyone winges as soon as it's colder than ten degrees.

Good god people. Talk to me when it's minus thirty.

#12 You are sick all the time.

You are surrounded with new germs. It's gross outside and you work with germ infestations. Get used to never feeling 100%.... and for everyone to take the piss out of you because of it.

#13 Your dating life is non-existent.

You just taught a five period day and went to the gym. The last thing you want to do is go make ridiculous small talk. And when you do, you're reminded exactly why you don't.

#14 You work six or seven days a week

Seriously, what is a day off? Work life balance? That's hilarious ...

#15 You are literally counting down the days until you get to go back to the cold and see the family

Only 83678658934339027 days, 4 hours, 2 minutes and 56 seconds to go.

#16 But you know you'll be counting down the days to come back to the UK.

I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. I've met some pretty spectacular human beings, landed in a great school and live in a pretty quaint little town. The pros outweigh the cons. ... hashtag living the dream - or something like that.